A Good Idea at the Time
by Mike McD
Summary: A short and silly BWX ficlet.


Title: A Good Idea at the Time

Author: Mike McD

Summary: A short and silly B/W/X ficlet.

Distribution: Anywhere, just keep my name on it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer nor do I own any other characters. This is a work of fiction written for your enjoyment.

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When asked some months after the event why she kissed Buffy, Willow was completely unable to come up with a reason. Buffy, when asked why she returned Willow's kiss, was at least able to come up with a rather lame excuse.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

They were sitting down watching television at the time the kiss occurred. TV can be blamed for many things, but only the insane could blame Wheel of Fortune for what happened that night.

And all the subsequent similar nights afterwards.

By this stage, Willow was an experienced kisser of women. True, she had only kissed two women in her life, but she had racked up some serious lip locking time with each of them. Buffy, on the other hand, had only ever kissed one girl once (Faith on a patrol one night) and had subsequently run off to maul her undead boyfriend in order to reestablish her heterosexuality.

So it wasn't a surprise to Buffy that Willow would be a good kisser. The surprise for Buffy was just how much she enjoyed Willow's kiss (and everything else that came later that night). For Willow the surprise came when Buffy grabbed her by the back of the head and jammed her tongue deep into her mouth.

It doesn't sound all that great on paper but in reality it actually felt fantastic. Buffy used her tongue in such a way that, if Willow had been capable of conscience or rational thought at the time, would have made her wonder if Buffy had been muff diving before. It turned out that Willow's was the one and only muff Buffy would ever dive.

But we're getting ahead of ourselves here.

Now, where were we?

Oh yeah, kissing.

Forget soft and tender, this kiss was hot, hard, and just exploding lust everywhere. Their hands, indeed their whole bodies couldn't keep still as they kissed. Hands went everywhere, including places that only minutes before had been off limits. Between the kissing and the groping there wasn't much ability for either of the two female Scoobies to use any part of their brains not connected with lusty feelings.

Like the part of their brain which dealt with short term memory which would have reminded them that Xander was sitting no more than three feet away.

Xander, for his part, was having brain problems of his own.

Xander had a tendency to get so focused on the TV that he was oblivious to all else. As a result he didn't notice his two friends sharing a tongue sandwich for nearly ten seconds. To be fair, only having one eye made for one hell of a blind spot and his two friends were sitting at the edge of it. When his peripheral vision finally made contact with his friends then reported its findings to that part of Xander's brain that dealt with sex (that being pretty much all of it) TV was suddenly forgotten.

For the first ten seconds Xander's brain did nothing except record what he was seeing for all eternity.

After its short shut down, some of his higher reasoning kicked in and promptly tried to make sense of what he was seeing.

Unfortunately what he was seeing didn't make sense, prompting his brain to slip back into record only mode again.

After a minute, his brain suddenly exploded into life and reasoned that Xander had fallen asleep and was having a new variation of a regular dream. With his intellect sated, Xander sat back and enjoyed the dream.

A number of minutes went by before Xander's intellect (let's call that part of his brain Sherlock!Xander) became somewhat disturbed at what was happening. Sherlock!Xander wasn't objecting to what it was seeing as such, rather it was the fact that something was terribly wrong in this picture.

'Like what?' another part of his brain asked (let's call that part Cranky!Xander).

'Well, this is a dream.' Sherlock!Xander asked.

'No shit Sherlock, you figured that out, like, ages ago.'

'Then why is Wheel of Fortune still on? We hate that damn show. Shouldn't we have edited out this damn idiot who couldn't figure out the word CAT if you spotted him the C and the T and told him it was a type of pet? Where was the usual lingerie clad pillow fight? The magic ritual requiring nudity and orgies? The beach side coconut oil rub downs? Why the hell is...' Sherlock!Xander flicked an eye over to the two girls 'Why the hell was Buffy wearing that ugly green top? Why is it taking so long for them to get to the hot stuff? Why is this dream so different from every other dream we've had about Buffy and Willow for the last seven years?'

'I don't know!' Cranky!Xander snapped getting, well, cranky.

'BECAUSE IT'S NOT A GODDAMNED DREAM!' Sherlock!Xander bellowed, the words bouncing around Xander's brain.

Not a dream? But if it wasn't a dream that would mean...

HOLY SHIT!

At this point in time something snapped inside Xander's brain and the next minute or two was just a complete blank in his memory. The next thing that he remembered was sitting down watching Buffy and Willow, not daring to move or breathe or even blink lest it upset the balance of the universe and make them stop doing what they were doing (i.e. each other).

It was a good theory that lasted as long as it took the last of Buffy and Willow's clothes to hit the floor.

You can't blame the man for a little gasp at this point. He's been holding his breath for so long that he could see a long tunnel with dead relatives beckoning at the end of it.

Plus the fact that his two best and sexiest friends were now stark naked. Hell, at this point Michelangelo's David would be gasping away like a convent full of nuns watching a porno.

However small the gasp was, it was big enough to remind the two female Scoobies that their one eyed best guy friend was in the room.

Xander expected shock. Xander expected horrified looks. Xander expected screaming and scrambling for cover.

What he didn't expect was an exchange of looks and an invitation to join in.

History will record an unaccounted for supersonic boom seemingly originating from the lounge room of a small Californian town.

The boom was, of course, Xander's clothes being flung off by their owner.

Now, for those of you reading this in the heavy breathing section of the internet, you're shit out of luck. There won't be any graphic descriptions of what happened next.

However it is worth noting that they did have some initial troubles in their carnal endeavors. Individually, the Scooby Gang was fairly kinky in the sack. But group sex was something new; the closest that any of them had got to group sex was using both hands to masturbate.

The logistics of the matter was formidable: 6 hands, 5 eyes, 4 breasts, 3 tongues, 2 vaginas, and a penis with its associated Y chromosome. Fumbling was the order of the day, head smacked into head as two people simultaneously went for the same nipple, bruises given as strength was forgotten... If there had been a video camera recording the first Scooby Gang Bang (instead of the tenth one) it would have resembled a cross between Debbie Does Dallas and Mr. Bean.

The author is happy to report that despite the inexperience of the participants, a good time was had by all and everyone lived happily ever after.

Except for Spike.

Who died.

Again.


End file.
